“American Idol:” Slicing and Dicing
“Slicing and dicing” is how the oh, so sensitive Ryan Seacrest described the cut of four contestants from last night’s “American Idol.”
First they had the “Sixties medley group sing” with all the contestants dressed in black and white. The guys either looked like gangsters or like they were going to a funeral, and the girls looked like Twiggy’s closet from forty years ago exploded on them.
The first cut—cruelly and abruptly, I might add—is the Leif Garrett look-a-like, Garrett Haley. Ryan calls him up and pretends to chat before telling him, by the way, you’re the one going home. Nice, Ryan. Danny Noriega’s thinking, Dude, they did not just do that! Garrett sings out with “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do” dressed in an outfit that looks like he raided the wardrobe department of a production of “Guys and Dolls.” Sorry Garrett, breaking up with you wasn’t that hard to do. Good luck, kid.
The second cut—a little less cruelly, but not by much. Ryan calls Kristy, one of the flu girls up to the stage to pysche her and us out, before he announces that Kristy’s safe, but Amy Davis is out. Her sing out of “Where The Boys Are,” is worse than Wednesday if that’s possible, and before we know it, they send her off to look for those boys.
The third cut they do old school. Ryan brings up Amanda and Joanne, reviews their performances and then tells Amanda she’s safe. Joanne is going home. It’s too bad, because she’s a cute girl and I would have liked to have heard her when she got those nerves worked out. Anyway, during her sing out, I still long to hear Rupert Everett’s version of “I Say A Little Prayer For You.” America got the girls half right.
The fourth cut, also done old school has Ryan bringing up Colton and Chikezie, and then sending Chikezie back to safety. Colton Berry’s going home. Chikezie seems surprised it’s not him. Danny Noriega looks like he’s gonna be sick. Colton’s sing out of “Suspicious Minds” is just as bad as the other night, and I’m happy to say, America got the guys completely right.