The Perpetual Tourist

Yellowstone National Park is one of those places everyone should visit at least once in their lifetime. It was the first national park in the US, and it is certainly one of the grandest, surrounded by the towering Rocky Mountains and featuring more wildlife than most zoos and geysers unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. But there’s something you probably haven’t heard about this place: it smells horrible.

Trace amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas leak out through cracks in the ground, especially around the geysers in the park, which makes the place smell like rotten eggs. I’m not trying to sell timeshares in Wyoming, so I’ll be honest with you: the smell is damn near unbearable at times. I would have enjoyed my trip to Yellowstone much more if I’d had a decent sinus infection.

The odor is a definite bummer, but it is by no means a reason to avoid the park. Yellowstone is one of the most lovely places I’ve ever been, and I guess that unless you want to dress like Michael Jackson (a lot more acceptable in the 80’s), there’s no real way to prepare for the stench. Still, I think it’s only fair that visitors be warned so they can at least brace themselves…

The nearest major airport to Yellowstone is Salt Lake City, about five hours away, but I’d recommend flying into Jackson Hole if you can find a good deal. It’s more convenient to the park, and the drive to Yellowstone from Jackson Hole, Wyoming takes you through Grand Teton National Park. You might as well make it a twofer when you visit this area, because both parks are really gorgeous — and Grand Teton smells like regular fresh air!

The climate in this area (northwest Wyoming) is one of cold winters and mild summers, which makes it a popular summer vacation destination. Expect crowds if you come in the peak season. When you visit in winter, you can take advantage of better hotel prices and guided snowmobile tours. It sounds like a lot of fun, and it would be nice to avoid great masses of people, but I still think summer is the best time to see Yellowstone.

For one thing, the weather is pretty nice (as opposed to bitterly cold), and even though there won’t be any snowmobiling, you have many more options in the summer, like camping, hiking, boating, and fishing.

Of course you’ll have to visit Old Faithful. So named because it is one of the few geysers in the world that actually erupts on a predictable schedule, Old Faithful shoots boiling water up to 184 feet in the air approximately every 90 minutes. Be patient, though, because the schedule isn’t entirely precise. Sometimes smaller eruptions precede the real deal, and when I visited the geyser, it started gurgling a few minutes after a crowd started to assemble. It burped up some smelly water for a little while, maybe five or six feet high, then settled down. Everyone was pretty bummed. “That’s it?!” Most of the crowd left to explore other parts of the park, so my folks and I were some of the only witnesses of that hour’s real eruption, some fifteen minutes after the teaser.

Old Faithful is the most famous attraction, but Yellowstone has plenty of other charms. The Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone was my favorite place when I visited. Several lookouts along the canyon offer incredible views of the Upper and Lower Falls, at 109 feet and 308 feet, respectively. Along some of the park’s hiking trails, you’ll come to petrified forests, which are really not forests but rather groups of petrified trunks. Still pretty cool.

And then there’s the wildlife. Yellowstone is home to dozens of endangered species, as well as animals that you just don’t see anywhere else. One memorable sighting on my trip was when my parents were talking about how they’d like to see a coyote.

“There’s one,” I said, pointing to the coyote that had just sauntered past our car. “And there’s a bear.” Remember to practice smart camping techniques if you pitch your tent in Yellowstone. The animals really are everywhere.

Even with threatening bears and that awful smell, I put Yellowstone in the top ten places I’d like to see again. It was worth the inconveniences the first time around, and knowing what I’d face on a return trip, I’d still love to do it all over again.