The Catherinette Chronicles

My therapist’s office is in a small medical complex.  It’s one of those complexes that is impossible to find a parking spot in if you go between the hours of 10-5.  After that, the parking lot has a total of about 3 cars in it.  You can park virtually anywhere you want and guarantee that [...]

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Notice the date: today is the 30th.  My car insurance expired yesterday.  I’m currently sitting at my mom’s house printing the 46 pages of my policy.  Boy, is she gonna be pissed when she finds out that I’ve wasted all her ink on that.  What else could I do?  I don’t have a printer at [...]

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David Caruso is quite possibly the biggest douche bag in the world, and I know douche bags. I never understood all of the hype surrounding him.  I remember when NYPD Blue premiered a hundred years ago.  I was barely out of womb (or in my early teens), and clearly recall that his ugly mug graced [...]

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1.  I sniff Mr. Sketch scented markers-but I can stop whenever I want to, I swear. Part of the reason I decided to become a trainer at Investments r Us is to have unlimited access to said markers. Man, they have such a fruity fresh scent-especially the purple one. I like to tell my students that [...]

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I live in a nice little house, in a nice little neighborhood, next door to a family that belongs in a van down by the river. At first, I thought them merely a little off, now, I want to beat them with hammers whenever I see or hear them. And it seems to me that [...]

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Let me paint you a little picture, and then ask you a question:
Let’s say that you’re one of those individuals that enjoys spending time and money at a tanning salon. You’re insecure, and you feel that a slightly darker shade of skin would make you more attractive to the opposite (or the same) sex. [...]

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You know what’s wicked awesome?  Being THAT girl.  I hate it when I turn into her.  He hasn’t emailed me at all today.  Not once.  So, of course, the desparation sets in.  Umm, last time I checked, I was the one that wanted to cut off all communication.  And I didn’t.  The emails start again, [...]

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