The Catherinette Chronicles

My therapist’s office is in a small medical complex.  It’s one of those complexes that is impossible to find a parking spot in if you go between the hours of 10-5.  After that, the parking lot has a total of about 3 cars in it.  You can park virtually anywhere you want and guarantee that [...]

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If we lived in utopia, none of these things would exist.  Instead, we’d all be sitting on our fit duffs, drinking cocktails and deciding how to spend another beautiful day in Shangri La.  No more having to get up at the ass crack of dawn to our thankless jobs in Corporate America (or other country), [...]

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I am a huge procrastinator. 
Why bother doing something that needs to get done when there are so many distractions in the world? 

Kitchen needs to be cleaned?  Oh!  Let’s reorganize my books in alphabetical order instead. 

Bathroom floor needs to be scrubbed?  How about I watch everything on my DVR instead. 

Car insurance need to be renewed by [...]

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Let me start off by thanking each and everyone one of you that has HOUNDED me to finish the story.  Oh, it’s a good one.  Might I suggest that you grab yourself a drink and/or a snack and get comfortable.  Ready?  Here we go…
It’s been over a year since we saw each other.  As a [...]

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No, really, it is.  I don’t know why on God’s green earth spammers feel the need to send their crap in email.  Are there really any people that still fall for that con that the secret uncle they never knew about that lived in Timbuktu just died and left them $70,000,000 and all they have [...]

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I have come to the conclusion that 2008 has been a crap year.  You’ll never guess where I wound up on Sunday morning?  The Emergency Room.  AGAIN!  No, it has nothing to do with what landed me in the hospital early in the year, but it still pretty much sucked anyway. 
It all started on Saturday [...]

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I just spent the last 90 minutes getting drilled in the mouth, and being surrounded by Pro Lube, and dental dams.  And I don’t mean in the same way that Foxy Luv does-in stall #1 of the men’s room at the local bus station.  Rather, it was take 2 of my wonderful root canal.  You know the [...]

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Okay, Batman, riddle me this:

1400(ish) employees

4 buildings

1 cafeteria

4 cashiers

6 microwaves in the cafeteria

Who did that f’ing math? 
This afternoon I went to the cafeteria with Disney.  It took him 5 minutes to get in line, order a sandwich, grab himself a drink, and pay.  It took me 15 minutes to wait for a blasted microwave.  I [...]

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David Caruso is quite possibly the biggest douche bag in the world, and I know douche bags. I never understood all of the hype surrounding him.  I remember when NYPD Blue premiered a hundred years ago.  I was barely out of womb (or in my early teens), and clearly recall that his ugly mug graced [...]

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You want sad?  I’ll give you sad.  No, it’s not the death of a loved one.  It has nothing to do with the cancellation of your favorite TV program.  Sadness isn’t losing your favorite shoe to your teething puppy.  It’s not accidentally dropping your cherry red ipod into your coffee.  It’s not when your pet dies.  It’s not [...]

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