The Catherinette Chronicles

Those were the first words out of his mouth after I had picked up the phone. Lit’l Smokey was on his way out, and he was calling me. “Um…okay. But you can’t have mine,” I told him. What, exactly, is serious vagina? Does it not laugh when you tell it funny jokes? Does it only [...]

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I was just sitting there with my pants around my ankles, minding my own business. Or taking care of business, which ever you prefer. Suddenly, it happened. Just as Foxy said it would.
Ironically enough, Foxy and I had had a little conversation about the whole thing earlier in the morning.

Me: I only use the first [...]

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In preparation for upcoming November Tarts on Tour appearance in NYC, I need to make sure that the city is ready for us. Look, it’s not everyday that Foxy and I travel together outside of Baltimore. The people here are used to us. But poor NYC has no idea what it’s in for. Not even [...]

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This afternoon Foxy and I had a really sophisticated lunch. In addition to discussing the finer things in life, like luxury travel, Mahnolo Blahnik, and George Clooney, we also managed to bring up a very important topic: dirty sex. I know, it’s shocking. How could two such “respectable ladies” possiby bring up such a topic? [...]

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Last night, Foxy, her hub cap (Cheeto Boy), 3D and I attended a little dinner party at Amber’s house. There was fantastic food, wine a plenty, and klassy dialogue. Behold a prime example of how Foxy and I klass up the joint:
We were discussing a security guard that used to work with us. Her secret [...]

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You: What’s up, Cath?
Me: Not too much. Just getting back from lunch with Foxy and MHKP.
You: Oh yeah? How was that?
Me: Awesome, I ate a pork sandwich and the waiter kept listening into our conversation?
You: Why would he do that?
Me: I don’t know. Maybe it’s because Foxy kept yelling about hookers the whole time?
You: How [...]

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Oh that whoring Foxy. She has done it again! You may remember some of her earlier shenanigans. Well, she’s struck again!!
Just this morning she asked to borrow a post it note. Like the sucker that I am, I assumed that she was actually going to do something work related with it. Oh how very wrong [...]

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It’s finally over.
After a year and some months of being together, the hot romance between Baby Tramp and Lit’l Smokey has finally ended. Foxy and I, ever so supportive, are consoling him during these hard times.

Me: You’re such a catch. She’ll be sorry.

Foxy: Yeah. She blew a great guy.

Me: More than once.

I’ve never seen anyone [...]

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What is the true mark of friendship? Everyone has their own idea of what friendship really means. Well let me tell you what it means to me: friendship is about being in sync and sharing things with one another.
Using this definition, Foxy and I are true friends.
You’ve all heard how women’s periods tend to sync [...]

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Being a girl it’s the law that I tell everyone that will listen about my date with Dreamy Dreamboat from Dreamtown (now known as 3D). Foxy is the lucky one that gets to hear about it for the rest of the day. Witness the exchange:

Foxy: Have you told him we have been making fun of [...]

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