The Catherinette Chronicles

Let me start off by thanking each and everyone one of you that has HOUNDED me to finish the story.  Oh, it’s a good one.  Might I suggest that you grab yourself a drink and/or a snack and get comfortable.  Ready?  Here we go…
It’s been over a year since we saw each other.  As a [...]

[Read more →]

One of the benefits of working in the same building for the last 8 years, and having had various office trysts, is walking past places were I enjoyed an illicit kiss or two. Years ago on a Sunday, I “made out” (see Bartles & Jaymes) with my boyfriend at the time in my cubicle. We [...]

[Read more →]

Those were the first words out of his mouth after I had picked up the phone. Lit’l Smokey was on his way out, and he was calling me. “Um…okay. But you can’t have mine,” I told him. What, exactly, is serious vagina? Does it not laugh when you tell it funny jokes? Does it only [...]

[Read more →]

No, really. I casually logged into facebook 2 seconds ago only to see a status update from Notebook:
Notebook handed his lady a diamond ring this morning.
Oh, and based on the comments on his status, looks like he’ll be in town in 2 weeks to celebrate with friends and family. I’ll totally be the [...]

[Read more →]

The first time the College Democrat and I hooked up was Sophomore year. Somehow, he managed to lure me into his dorm room in Hood Hall. He must have tricked me by saying something clever like, “Why don’t you come over?” God, I used to fall for that all the time!! I know better now…well, [...]

[Read more →]

You know what I love?  Running into old college flames.  You know what I don’t love?  When they happen to be married with 2 small children.
It just so happens that an old secret boyfriend (so secret he doesn’t know anything about it) from college has lived within 10 minutes driving distance.  For 13 years.  13 [...]

[Read more →]

Last Thursday I found myself somewhere that I never thought I’d be. Not in the women’s correctional facility-been there, done that. Rather, I found myself sitting next to Lit’l Smokey at the last Raven’s preseason game.
When I was presented with free tickets to the game, I jumped at the chance to go. I hate sports [...]

[Read more →]

Oh. It’s on! And not like Donkey Kong. It’s on like Genghis Khan because that is what Foxy is: a freaking demonic traitor from hell.
How dare you, Foxy?? How very dare you?
Clearly, we are not the friends that I thought we were. Not after all of those times together laughing at fish tacos in the [...]

[Read more →]

When I was little, I remember holding my friend’s hands and spinning in a cirle. We’d spin as fast as we could and then let go. The second our hands unclasped, we’d fall backwards into the grass. If one of us let go before the other was ready, there was a sense of panic. I [...]

[Read more →]

I may or may not be going out with Foxy, One Date Wonder, and Claude tomorrow night.
We may or may not get our boozy suzy on.
We may or may not be going to a place where one might happen to bump into someone that looks like a villain from a silent movie.
And I may or [...]

[Read more →]