The Catherinette Chronicles

The DVR is quite possibly the best invention in the world.  Even better than white bread.  When I go to sleep at night, and say my prayers, I thank God that he has blessed me with a DVR.   Okay, so I don’t really do that since I never say a prayer, being an atheist and all.  But [...]

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They look like relatively reasonable children, don’t they?  Just like any other 7 year old dressed up for Halloween.  Well, I’m here to tell you that they’ll go from normal to bat shit crazy in 40 seconds if you give them nasty Halloween candy. 
In an effort to help the masses, I’m offering my advice on [...]

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There are times, like today, when I’m convinced that my clients live in some alternate universe where you can slow down time so you can finish projects.  I imagine that this world also has streets made of candy, and rivers of appletinis.  It must be a really splendid place to live because all my clients [...]

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There are times when even I, the tireless mocker, become a dreaded sap.  Every once in awhile, on a sappy day quite like today, I may get the urge to read a poem or two.  Kind of like when someone is feeling nauseated and they think they’ll feel better after sticking their finger down their [...]

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You know what’s so kick ass about this season’s “Heroes”?  Sure, sure, we all get to drool over the Petrelli brothers, but there’s something much cooler and fabulous.
Veronica Mars and Weevil are reunited!!  Yeah, I’m totally one of those cool kids that got sucked into the show.  And for good reason, too.  Veronica Mars is [...]

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Let me throw out a question: how many days in a row can I get away with being in my nightgown by 5:00 before it starts getting creepy and pathetic?
I’m on day 2 now, and I’ve already had a glass of wine.  I’m pretending that it’s perfectly acceptable as I’m only on day 2 of [...]

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Go ahead, envy me.  I know you want to.  Here I am, living the dream.  You know which dream I’m talking about.  The single girl’s dream.
Here I am, on a typical Saturday night, and I”ve spent it just how you wish you could spend yours.  Cocktails with friends?  Nope.  A fine dining experience at a [...]

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Sometimes, when I wake up late at night, I wonder if he’s still at work, and what it might have been like if we had ever gotten together.  I don’t think I could have handled those late hours.  Though I definitely could have handled the free cocktails…

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I’m gonna do it, I’m going to be a bitch. Look, someone has to do it, and that person is clearly me. You all know that you want to be as free as I am and tell the truth (when you’re not too busy hypothetically lying to your significant other about how many people you’ve [...]

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This afternoon he sent me an email at work.  I cried at my desk when I read it.  I read it 10 times over.  I wanted to respond, but I didn’t-I just need more time.  I don’t know what to do. 
God, I really miss him.  It’s barely been 2 months and I have a hard [...]

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