The Catherinette Chronicles

I just threw up in my mouth a little, no really.  Damn it, why did I have to be eating lunch?  Vomit taste in my mouth.  YUCK!
Like I do most days at work, I was fooling around on the internet.  Long story short, I ended up on the Etsy site.  If you’ve never seen it [...]

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The first step is admitting you have a problem.  Well, I have a problem.  A big fat, sugary, delicious problem covered in sprinkles and shaped like Christmas ornaments.  I cannot stop eating Christmas cookies.  Really, I can’t.  Yesterday I had 15 of them.  Today, I’ve managed to make it with only one-but I know that [...]

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Know what happens if you look up the definition of “abomination”?  You find a picture of this filth:

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There was once a time when I cared what I put in my mouth (that’s what she said) and would pack my own lunch.  I’ve since become lazy, and about 10 pounds heavier.  My lazy ass needs to be fed, so I take advantage of the food provided by my company.  Here at Investments r [...]

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The other night that I went out with Lit’l Smokey, we ran into Un-boyfriend. They had never met before, but Lit’l Smokey had heard stories about him. As we sat at the sushi bar, he asked me what his deal was. I took it upon myself to inform him all about Un-boyfriend’s disgusting ex-girlfriend. No, [...]

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This afternoon Foxy and I had a really sophisticated lunch. In addition to discussing the finer things in life, like luxury travel, Mahnolo Blahnik, and George Clooney, we also managed to bring up a very important topic: dirty sex. I know, it’s shocking. How could two such “respectable ladies” possiby bring up such a topic? [...]

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What is the true mark of friendship? Everyone has their own idea of what friendship really means. Well let me tell you what it means to me: friendship is about being in sync and sharing things with one another.
Using this definition, Foxy and I are true friends.
You’ve all heard how women’s periods tend to sync [...]

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My eyes!! My eyes!! I’ve done something horribly stupid and now I cannot stop my eyes from bleeding, nor can I get the image out of my head. Why, dear Lord? Why did I make such an incredibly stupid decision? Good God, maybe I’m still really sick. Perhaps the terrible infection that has caused me [...]

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