The Catherinette Chronicles

I just threw up in my mouth a little, no really.  Damn it, why did I have to be eating lunch?  Vomit taste in my mouth.  YUCK!
Like I do most days at work, I was fooling around on the internet.  Long story short, I ended up on the Etsy site.  If you’ve never seen it [...]

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My therapist’s office is in a small medical complex.  It’s one of those complexes that is impossible to find a parking spot in if you go between the hours of 10-5.  After that, the parking lot has a total of about 3 cars in it.  You can park virtually anywhere you want and guarantee that [...]

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Notice the date: today is the 30th.  My car insurance expired yesterday.  I’m currently sitting at my mom’s house printing the 46 pages of my policy.  Boy, is she gonna be pissed when she finds out that I’ve wasted all her ink on that.  What else could I do?  I don’t have a printer at [...]

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I am a huge procrastinator. 
Why bother doing something that needs to get done when there are so many distractions in the world? 

Kitchen needs to be cleaned?  Oh!  Let’s reorganize my books in alphabetical order instead. 

Bathroom floor needs to be scrubbed?  How about I watch everything on my DVR instead. 

Car insurance need to be renewed by [...]

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Let me start off by thanking each and everyone one of you that has HOUNDED me to finish the story.  Oh, it’s a good one.  Might I suggest that you grab yourself a drink and/or a snack and get comfortable.  Ready?  Here we go…
It’s been over a year since we saw each other.  As a [...]

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The first step is admitting you have a problem.  Well, I have a problem.  A big fat, sugary, delicious problem covered in sprinkles and shaped like Christmas ornaments.  I cannot stop eating Christmas cookies.  Really, I can’t.  Yesterday I had 15 of them.  Today, I’ve managed to make it with only one-but I know that [...]

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I have come to the conclusion that 2008 has been a crap year.  You’ll never guess where I wound up on Sunday morning?  The Emergency Room.  AGAIN!  No, it has nothing to do with what landed me in the hospital early in the year, but it still pretty much sucked anyway. 
It all started on Saturday [...]

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I just spent the last 90 minutes getting drilled in the mouth, and being surrounded by Pro Lube, and dental dams.  And I don’t mean in the same way that Foxy Luv does-in stall #1 of the men’s room at the local bus station.  Rather, it was take 2 of my wonderful root canal.  You know the [...]

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Okay, Batman, riddle me this:

1400(ish) employees

4 buildings

1 cafeteria

4 cashiers

6 microwaves in the cafeteria

Who did that f’ing math? 
This afternoon I went to the cafeteria with Disney.  It took him 5 minutes to get in line, order a sandwich, grab himself a drink, and pay.  It took me 15 minutes to wait for a blasted microwave.  I [...]

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David Caruso is quite possibly the biggest douche bag in the world, and I know douche bags. I never understood all of the hype surrounding him.  I remember when NYPD Blue premiered a hundred years ago.  I was barely out of womb (or in my early teens), and clearly recall that his ugly mug graced [...]

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