The Catherinette Chronicles

Think twice before you drink and blog.  Drunk blogging is kind of like drunk dialing: a bad idea and something that should be avoided at all costs.  Sure, it might seem like a good idea at 2:00 in the morning-this is completely based on the fact that you are drunk.  The only thing you should [...]

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When wearing pants, the hem should be no more than approximately an inch from the ground.  This means that if, when you’re standing, I can see your socks then you are violating this critical rule.  I will mock you for wearing flood pants (or “high water pants” as other call them). 
Years ago, when I met [...]

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The bathroom is NOT for eating.  It is for doing your business, and possibly hooking up (assuming that you’re the type of person that does that).  This one’s for anyone that’s every gone into a public restroom.  There is no reason on this earth (or on any other planet, for that matter) to take food [...]

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When making the decision to wear white shoes, remember that under no circumstances should they be matched with dark colored stockings.  Doing so will cause people to point at you and mock you for having such terrible fashion sense.
Such a shoe-hosiery combination is only permitted if you are a stripper, hooker, or it is Halloween [...]

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Women with cankles and fat feet should not wear ballet flats with straps. The straps will cut across your fat foot and make the rest of us want to throw up.
Then again, if it’s your life long dream to look like Miss Piggy, by all means, expose us to your fat feet. 

*This public service announcement [...]

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 Spicy peppers can burn your nether bits if you don’t do a good job of washing your hands after handling the little buggers.
How do I know this?  Easy!  Just the other morning, my friend called me to let me know that he had enjoyed some fresh jalepeno peppers from his garden for dinner that evening.  [...]

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