Okay, Batman, riddle me this:
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1400(ish) employees
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4 buildings
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1 cafeteria
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4 cashiers
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6 microwaves in the cafeteria
Who did that f’ing math?
This afternoon I went to the cafeteria with Disney. It took him 5 minutes to get in line, order a sandwich, grab himself a drink, and pay. It took me 15 minutes to wait for a blasted microwave. I swear to Christ it’s impossible to get a stupid microwave during those hours. It’s like trying to get tickets for a Jonas Brothers concert. You either have to line up 8 hours before the ticket office opens or you’ll be shit out of luck.
And it’s always the same. The microwave I get is always the one that someone just used to reheat some stinky ass fish or make popcorn. This means that my lunch will be tainted by the nauseating smells. All I can taste are someone else’s fish or burnt popcorn. No one wants that. No one!!
When I’ve asked Facilities Management why we can’t have microwaves in each of the pantries (there are 2 per floor), they give some lame ass excuse about “fire hazards” and “dangerous”. You know what? I bet if those bastards had to microwave their god damned lunch in the cafeteria during lunch hours that they’d be singing a different tune.
Note to self: never ever take anything to work that needs to be heated.
4 responses so far ↓
1 David // Dec 3, 2008 at 11:47 pm
This is free market capitalism at work. If you bought your lunch in the cafeteria, all would be well. But, no….You shirk your American responsibility to be a good consumer, so you suffer the fish-ass microwave taint.
Could you spritz the microwave with Febreze to kill those smells? Sure, the chemicals might kill you but lunch would taste ok.
2 Jormengrund // Dec 4, 2008 at 9:41 am
And my wife wonders why I don’t like taking my lunch to work..
Are you sure we don’t work in the same building?
3 Dog // Dec 4, 2008 at 12:39 pm
A small amount of crystal meth before lunch will omit the need for food and is cheaper.
It’s a kick ass diet too, ask your Mom!
(I have never tried crank, I’m afraid)
4 Catherinette // Dec 4, 2008 at 3:11 pm
David: So you’re saying that they’re punishing me because I refuse to spend $5.00 on an old egg salad sandwich? Those clever bastards! Mmm, I do love me some fabreze.
Jormengrund: We probably do. I’ll see you tomorrow at noon in the cafeteria…among the throngs of other poor people made to suffer in the flourescent lights.
Dog: Hmm…I hadn’t thought of that. I could stand to lose a few pounds.
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