The holiday season is upon us. This means that many radio stations are starting to play Christmas tunes. I usually like turning on that one local station to listen to the Christmas music-it helps get me in the Christmas spirit. There are some songs that I absolutely adore, some that I’m even ashamed to admit that I like. Yeah, I like the standards as sung by Frank Sinatra, Doris Day, and Bing Crosby. And yeah, I’ll even admit to loving a Mariah Carey Christmas classic AND Jessica Simpson’s cover of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.”
Go ahead, mock away, I don’t care. And please feel free to enjoy the uber cheesy youtube clip.
Anyhow, there are also some songs that will send me running to the radio to immediately flip the station. If the station isn’t changed fast enough, it causes me to vomit and my ears to start bleeding. What could possibly cause such a violent reaction? Oh, I’ll tell you! There are 3 songs that will make me cross the room in a split second:
-
The Christmas Shoes: You know which one this is. It’s that stupid ass song about a little boy that’s poor and has to buy some god damned shoes for his dying mother. Ugh, can’t freaking stand it. I swear I’d rather hear 3 minutes of nails on a chalk board.
-
Madonna’s version of Santa Baby: I love the orignal version, and I’m a Madonna fan (aside from her clubby club electronica phase), but her version of the song makes me want to hurt myself. Badly. It sounds like she sucked a bunch of helium and then went to the recording studio.
-
Where Are You Christmas: This has to be one of the all time worst. Have you listened to the freaking lyrics?? Utter crap, for real.
Wow, maybe Christmas music puts me in a mood-the mood to put my head through the glass window. Perhaps I should go back to listening to the news on NPR or regular music.
14 responses so far ↓
1 Vivienne // Dec 1, 2008 at 9:45 pm
So pleased to find another hater of Madonna’s squeaky nasal Santa Baby. When celebrities get to the point of assuming we’ll like absolutely anything they do, it’s time to mock them. Well, there’s really no need to wait that long. Mock them whenever possible.
2 Jenna // Dec 1, 2008 at 10:09 pm
I am super happy I’ve never heard any of those three songs! Personally, I could do without Jessica Simpson, but I think I out cheesy you as I have the Tom Jones/Cerys Matthews duet of that tune on my Christmas playlist. Because it doesn’t get any awesomer than Tom Jones.
3 Catherinette // Dec 2, 2008 at 7:54 am
Vivienne: I whole heartedly agree with you and I believe that Madonna needs to be mocked. STAT!!
Jenna: There’s no shame in liking Tom Jones. Now, if you have a poster of him on your bedroom wall, then we’ll have to have a sit down.
4 nikkicrumpet // Dec 2, 2008 at 9:12 am
Gee and I thought I had a bad attitude about Carols lol. Thanks for the laughs…I needed to wake up this morning. And I love that you admit to hating the Christmas shoes!
5 Jormengrund // Dec 2, 2008 at 9:44 am
I like Christmas songs, I just wish they’d wait until December to start playing them..
I mean, there was a station out here that started playing them 24/7 November 1st!
I don’t know about you, but I think that’s going just a bit extreme…..
6 Catherinette // Dec 2, 2008 at 1:36 pm
nikkicrumpet: That song is the freaking worst, I swear!!
Jormengrund: 2 months of Christmas tunes?? That’s just way too much for me.
7 prefers her fantasy life // Dec 2, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Blue Christmas by Elvis makes me want to kill myself.
8 unfinishedrambler // Dec 2, 2008 at 3:26 pm
I’ve always enjoyed Nat King Cole’s Christmas Song myself. All these modern versions of stuff are blasphemous. I can’t even bring myself to click on the links you have, especially the Santa Baby. The song already grinds on my last nerve.
9 Dog // Dec 2, 2008 at 6:44 pm
I haven’t thought of it in a while but Doris Day had a phenomenal voice.
Thanks for the trip down memory lane!
10 KiKi // Dec 3, 2008 at 12:03 am
I’m crying.
I totally just went off on a friend’s Facebook page about how The Christmas Shoes makes me want to stick pencils in my eyes. Holy crap, forget Christmas…that song is one of the worst songs in friggin’ HISTORY.
11 Madame Sinister // Dec 3, 2008 at 5:07 am
Christmas Shoes - song about a poor boy buying shoes for his dying mother - or song about a grifter father forcing his boy to partake in a shoe scam?
I hate it, too, but the thought if a dad on the sidelines pushing his kid to sob this story to every person in every Payless in the mall makes me giggle.
12 Catherinette // Dec 3, 2008 at 7:45 am
Prefers her fantasty life: Honey, it makes just about everyone want to throw themselves out the nearest window.
unfinishedrambler: I totally agree with you! I love the original version of the songs. I hate most of the pop stuff-with the exception of Mariah Carey and Jessica Simpson. God, the shame!
Dog: How can you not love Doris Day?
KiKi: You are so right! The writer/singer should be burned at the god damned stake!
Madame Sinister: EXACTLLY!! I was actually going to write about how he’s a manipulative little kid who just doesn’t want to pay for the stupid shoes! That kid is a little bastard.
13 Chloe &annie : ) // Dec 15, 2008 at 9:16 am
ahah, were lucky enough never to have heard of any of those songs,
although if there as bad as your making out we don’t wish to!
thanks for the laughs
xx
14 Catherinette // Dec 15, 2008 at 9:47 am
You are so lucky!! I’m telling you, listening to those songs takes years off your life. -CS
Leave a Comment