There’s a young man that works in my company that is fine. He dresses well, is hot, and has the personality of a mound of dirt. For someone as attractive as this J. Crewish young lad, you’d think he’d have some social skills. Not Wet Noodle. Talking to him is physically painful. While at first I was delighted to be in meetings with him-just because he was so pretty-I learned to dread the meetings like one does going to the DMV. It’s painful and a waste of time.
Several years ago, Wet Noodle married a woman who was 9 years his senior and not that much of a looker. When my friend, KK, first saw his wife, she just about fell over and died. I use one word to describe Mrs. Wet Noodle: Cankles. Seriously, she is not an attractive woman, and has ballooned in size since they first got together.
This afternoon, Disney called me over to his desk to show me something. He had found a very old picture of Cankles. I looked at it, then at him, and the following escaped my lips, “Jesus Christ. I think she ate herself.”
4 responses so far ↓
1 The Alleged Ringleader // Nov 26, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Ugh, I so know the wet noodle types and it’s such a waste when a really hot guy has zero personality!
LOL I would have said the same thing about Cankles I’m sure!
2 candice // Nov 26, 2008 at 5:36 pm
He may be hot but he’s probably hung like a tic-tac and has the wet noodle personality to go along with it. It’s no wonder why his wife is fat. Their life is probably devoid of conversation. It’s all about the mastication around that crib.
3 Joel Klebanoff // Nov 27, 2008 at 10:11 am
Don’t be so down on wet noodles. They taste great with a little Alfredo or cream sauce.
All kidding aside, as a wet noodle myself — although of the unattractive, short, plump, post-middle-age, highly neurotic variety — I strongly object to your negative characterization of us wet noodles. Expect a call from the WNADL (Wet Noodle Anti-Defamation League).
4 Catherinette // Dec 1, 2008 at 6:26 pm
The Alleged Ringleader: You’re right, it totally is a waste. It almost makes me want to cry.
Candice: BWAHAHA!! Hung like a tic tac!! Good one!
Joel Kebanoff: Sounds like I might have to hire an attorney ASAP!
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