For the love of all things bright and beautiful all creatures great and freaking small!! Why?? WHY?? Seriously, I’m too freaking old for this gd nonsense. I’m 34 years old, and my face looks like it belongs to a 13 year old. I have 5, count them FIVE god damned pimples on my freaking chin. What the hell is that all about??
I hate breaking out with a fiery passion equal to a 1000 bolts of white hot lightening. There is nothing on this earth that I can think of that’s worse. Not being maimed in a tragic tractor accident, or having to listen to 3D drone on and on about his feelings, or Debbie Downer tell me another cat story. NOTHING is worse than the way my chin looks right this very second. Not even having to endure listening to David Hasselhoff singing.
Several months ago I decided to go back on the pill because it always helped my skin. Sure, it just so happened that I was also knocking boots with someone at the time, but the primary reason that I went on it was because of my skin. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have acne, it’s not that bad. But I do, several times, get a pimple.
My sister and I used to play this little game where we would name our pimples. Mine always get the same name: Simone. She decides to pop up for special occasions, and sometimes she likes to bring her friends. Tomorrow I’m going to a little Happy Hour with Disney and Dirt Bag. Dirt Bag is kinda cute, married, and enjoys hitting on me. It’s fun to be hit on from time to time, I know that he does it half jokingly, but tomorrow Simone will put a big fat stop to that. Instead, we’ll end up pretending that I don’t have pizza face and he’ll struggle to maintain eye contact instead of looking at all the damn red spots on my face.
I hate you Simone. I hate you, and all your stupid friends.
4 responses so far ↓
1 Jormengrund // Nov 5, 2008 at 4:01 pm
This is what happens to you all who sneak candy from the non-claimed Halloween bowl!
It’s a secret curse, and should NEVER be taken lightly!
My best advice?
Drink lots of water, and exercise regularly!
Oh, and then use some OXY, or something for those things on your chin..
You gotta have great skin before the Vacation!!
Clearly someone has mad a voodoo doll of me and is cursing me. Bastards.
Oh, and the Oxy thing? Can’t do it. I have a terrible allergy to Benzoyl Peroxide. It makes my skin look like I’ve been burned in a terrible fire. Truly scary. -CS
2 the human // Nov 5, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Maybe you could name them Pepperoni, Mushroom, Olive, Ham, and the particularly annoying one could be Anchovy!
But them I’m afraid they’d become appetizing and someone would want to eat them. -CS
3 Jayson Cole // Nov 5, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Ouch. That has got to be a kick to the vagina for yourself esteem right now. I hear putting tooth paste on a zit makes it disappear like houdini. Just sayin. I like your site. Toooodles!
The toothpaste thing is a vicious lie. I’ve tried that. Tons of times. -CS
4 Red // Nov 7, 2008 at 9:37 am
I, too, have less than flawless skin. I just console myself with the fact that having plenty of natural oil remaining, not to mention the slightly teenish pimple from time to time, contributes to looking young for my age.
I bet he hits on you anyway.
I hadn’t thought of it that way, that’s awfully clever! -CS
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