The Catherinette Chronicles

David Caruso is quite possibly the biggest douche bag in the world, and I know douche bags. I never understood all of the hype surrounding him.  I remember when NYPD Blue premiered a hundred years ago.  I was barely out of womb (or in my early teens), and clearly recall that his ugly mug graced [...]

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You know what today is?  It’s turkey day, people! That means it’s time to shovel as much turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie into your mouth as your body can possibly handle.  Then, 20 minutes later the Thanksgiving bloat will wash over you.
While you’re waiting for that physical discomfort to pass, here’s a very special Thanksgiving video [...]

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There’s a young man that works in my company that is fine. He dresses well, is hot, and has the personality of a mound of dirt. For someone as attractive as this J. Crewish young lad, you’d think he’d have some social skills. Not Wet Noodle. Talking to him is physically painful. While at first [...]

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In addition to working with Jack Ass, I have the joy and pleasure of working with Debbie Downer. Have you ever met one of those people who just sucks the joy out of everything? She’s very much like this. Every time I talk to her it makes me want to wander back to my cubicle [...]

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Here I am, off in the lovely English countryside.  Though the weather has been a little wet (shocker for England, I know), we’re enjoying the trip.  It’s easy to forget that my cubicle is back home waiting for me, and at this very second, someone is probably setting up an appointment for some stupid ass [...]

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Should I tell you about the time that I got so hammered in London that I ran around the city, by myself, without a coat or a purse until 7:00 am?  And how when I sobered up I had no recollection of where all my stuff was?  And how there was an explosion of orange [...]

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As promised, here’s a little excerpt from my travel journal…

Next time we go on vacation, mom’s getting a checklist which she must use prior to leaving the house. While her initial idea was to leave at 4pm (4.5 hours before we really needed to get to the airport-the flight left at 9:15), we weren’t on [...]

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In the immortal words of John Denver, I’m leaving on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again.  Okay, so I actually do know when I’ll be back again, but it would jack up the song if I wrote that I was leaving on a jet plane and I know when I’ll be [...]

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You want sad?  I’ll give you sad.  No, it’s not the death of a loved one.  It has nothing to do with the cancellation of your favorite TV program.  Sadness isn’t losing your favorite shoe to your teething puppy.  It’s not accidentally dropping your cherry red ipod into your coffee.  It’s not when your pet dies.  It’s not [...]

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Do you want me like I want you?
I’m secretly cursing Muffy for ever having told me about the existence of this magical drink.  It’s basically liquid crack with whipped liquid crack and liquid crack.  So freaking good.  Sometimes, at night, I think about it and cry because it’s not in my reach.
Oh sweet salted caramel [...]

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