There’s this big, well known chain that delivers pizza and is named after a game. It’s been around for ages and ages, and I used to love them until I found out that they gave proceeds to pro-life foundations. It’s literally been years since I’ve eaten a single slice of their pizza. Tonight, I decided to bury my morals deep down and just order some meaty pepperoni pizza. I’m hungry, I’ve had a long freaking day, and I just want some pizza. So there I go, to their online ordering system and place my order!
How thrilled was I when they arrived about 20 minutes later with a box of melty goodness! I went running to the table, threw open the box, and felt a tear trickle down my cheek. What the hell is this? I thought to myself. Where is all the glorious pepperoni that I planned on eating?
Not one single god damned slice. What to do? What to do? Should I just suck it up and eat it? Or should I call them to complain?
Here’s the thing about cheese pizza: I hate it. It’s freaking pointless to me. Kind of like a sandwich with only mustard, lettuce and mayo. Or perhaps cake without the frosting. It’s just wrong and should be illegal.
I decided to call to bitch them out. Um…yeah, they insisted that they delivered what I had ordered. “Oh no you did not! I have my confirmation right here and it says PEPPERONI!!”
Meanwhile, I was lying the whole time because I didn’t have it up in front of me. So while I argued with the guy for 5 minutes, I pulled up my email confirmation. There it was, right in front of my face: Large pizza with cheese and sauce. What’s a hungry single girl to do?
I looked at that confirmation and I said very clearly and slowly into the phone, “My confirmation says it right here: pepperoni.” I lied! Over something as stupid as freaking pepperoni!! So of course he apologized profusely and they’re now making me another. Sure, I bet they’re spitting on it and/or adding some secret sauce. But you know what? As long as there’s pepperoni on it, I don’t give a crap.
Oh! I believe there’s a knock on my door…
4 responses so far ↓
1 Sassy // Oct 11, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Don’t you just love that you can watch the whole Dominos process online - order placed, item being made, baking, out the door, and voila’ delivery. I told the last delivery guy they should have hats that say “We’re damn fast.”
2 Catherinette // Oct 11, 2008 at 5:26 pm
That’s what she said.
No, but seriously, girls really don’t like it when boys are that fast. Know what I mean?
3 Nameless Blogger // Oct 13, 2008 at 4:33 pm
I would have called to. I can’t eat just cheese pizza. I need the meat, the pepperoni.
4 Catherinette // Oct 14, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Cheese pizza is an abomination!
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