The Catherinette Chronicles

Oh how I heart taking time off of work. It’s one of my favorite past times, right behind doing it, mocking people, and enjoying a delicious cocktails with friends. There’s a special kind of joy in sleeping in and knowing your poor, poor friends had to drag themselves out of bed at some ungodly hour so they could take it from “the man” or take care of their kids.

You can imagine my dismay when I woke up, not at 10:00 like I was aiming for, but at 8:15. Thank you, stupid dump truck. No. Really. It means a lot to me.

For some unknown reason, there is a dump truck idling outside my house-parked directly in front of my house. Clearly it’s main purpose is to ruin my slumber. Stupid bastards.

I had plans for today. I really did! I was going to enjoy sleeping in the middle of my bed until mid morning. Then I was actually going to get up and mow the lawn. The weeds and small woodland creatures are taking over my yard. They need to be dealt with, STAT! Here’s the thing, I’m not mowing my lawn in front of some truck driver. Surely, he’ll whistle and make cat calls at me while I’m sweating and pushing the mower. Or perhaps he will think, “Look! A Mexican mowing her lawn.” Then perhaps he will shout, “Hey, Mexican, bring me a taco!”

Stupid truck. Now my plans are ruined. Now I’ll have to change my plans completely. Obviously, this calls for surfing the interwebs until he leaves. Or at least until he gets bored and moves his stupid truck.

On the otherhand, I wouldn’t mind a catcall or two.