The Catherinette Chronicles

This afternoon he sent me an email at work.  I cried at my desk when I read it.  I read it 10 times over.  I wanted to respond, but I didn’t-I just need more time.  I don’t know what to do. 

God, I really miss him.  It’s barely been 2 months and I have a hard time imagining my life without him.  Anything that happens to me during the day I want to share with him.  It’s almost as if telling him validates everything.  Did I make the right decision? 

I don’t know what I’m going to do.  It seems to me that I have 3 options:

1. Walk away and then regret that I never gave us another chance.
2. Give him another chance and potentially waste my time.
3. Give him another chance and maybe have a future with him.

How do I know which one to choose?  How do I know which one is right for me?  I’m not sure if I can walk away from him just yet.  I’m not ready to let this go, to let him go.  I’ve done nothing but think of him since I walked out his door on Friday.  How do you let go of that?

Of all the break ups I’ve had, this one is the hardest-and some of the others were for years long relationships.  Doesn’t that mean something?

I’m not ready to let him go.  Is that my decision?  Just because I’m not ready to let him go doesn’t mean it’s right.  God, I just want to be with him.  Why does there have to be all this drama?  If only it were easier, and shouldn’t it be easier at this stage.  Am I just ignoring the signs, or am I following my heart.

I just don’t know what to do.  I’m not ready to let this go.