The Catherinette Chronicles

Several years ago, my friend, M, provided me with a riveting explanation of how dating should work. I provide it for you below.

It’s like….. like a Sedan. Okay? Our love lives are like a five-seater sedan. Choose the car you want. I pick my baby bmw sitting at home waiting for me faithfully. So… it’s a sedan. It has five seats. You are the driver. You get 4 passengers. Right now we are on the first leg of the trip where you are driving around trying to fill up the 4 seats. Along the way you get to make stops and switch who is sitting shotgun (i.e. dates, one-on-one time). And the more of that you do, the more you understand which ones you like which you don’t. And also, on the ride, you get to keep your eyes open for other potential rides/guests out on the street. When you find them, if they are better than any of the current ones, then you rotate out (ditch the sucker’s ass) the least coveted one currently in the car. Okay? And you keep doing this until someone is basically permanently shotgun and you realize you just wanna ditch the rest and you’d rather check out shotgun then look out the window for other competitors. And then you’re done. And Mr. Shotgun gets the prize…… i.e. he gets to be the driver and drive your ass around for the rest of his life and LOVE doing so. Plus, maybe now that you are sitting shotgun you can give him a little something during the ride………lah di da da dah!

In theory, I love it. In practice, I have a hard time talking guys into my car (for me, it would be a SAAB).  This could be because my car looks like a tornado hit it, or because I have no game.  I’m talking zero game.