The Catherinette Chronicles

Before making the decision to go and see Doctor Slightly Evil (DSE), I did what any other 12 year old girl would do: I talked to anyone who would listen to fish for answers.  Georgia, Lola, and One Date Wonder said don’t go.  Muffy, my mom, and Claude said I should go.

Claude is a boy.  A boy that knows other boys.  When I finally got him on the phone, I was already on my way down there and my plan was to have 1 drink.  1 drink and then I was leaving.  We’d straighten this out and we’d be fine.  So there I was on my way and something strange started happening.  I was getting nervous.  Why was I getting nervous over this?  And were those butterflies in my stomach?  Wait a second.  Do I have a crush on him??  OMFG!  I think I have a crush on him! 

I should have just turned the car around and gone home.  Instead I parked it, and walked into the bar.  And he was delighted to see me (and my boobs) and he got me a drink.

• DSE: I’m so glad you made it.

• Me: I can only stay for one drink.

• DSE: Why?

• Me: I have plans, I’m meeting a friend for a movie.

• DSE: Is this a date?  Are you cheating on me already?

• Me: I’m going with Lola.

• DSE: Sure.  You deliberately made plans so you wouldn’t have to stay.

• Me: You’re lucky I even made it.  So where’d you run off to last night?

• DSE: What do you mean?  I was there.

• Me: Yeah, and then you left.

• DSE: I came back.  I said hello to you when I came back.

• Me: You did?  Why don’t I remember that?  Well, you only came back for 5 minutes.

• DSE: Um.  No.  I was standing behind you for an hour.

• Me: Are you serious?? 

• DSE: Way to notice. 

• Me: I don’t have eyes in the back of my head. 

[Blah, blah, blah, I don't remember what happened here except he told me that I was drinking too fast and then he offered me a shot.]

• DSE: I sent out about 100 text messages to remind people.

• Me: You didn’t send one to me.

• DSE: I don’t have your number.

• Me: Yeah you do.  I gave you my business card on Thursday.

• DSE: I haven’t put it in my phone yet.  Besides, when Curly sent me a text that you were leaving I wrote him back and asked him to remind you.

Um, his friend sent him a text to tell him I was leaving? And then he sent him a text message back?Who does this other than 6th graders??

I finished my beer and my shot and told him I was leaving.

• DSE: What time is your movie over?

• Me: I don’t know, around 7 or 8.

• DSE: You should come back afterwards. 

• Me: I’m not coming back here by myself.  You’ll be talking to all of your friends and I’ll be sitting here twiddling my thumbs.

• DSE: I promise to only pay attention to you.

• Me: Yeah, right.

And that was it.  Goodbyes exchanged.  I walked out.  

So I was totally right and it was harmless flirting and I totally don’t think he would have checked the “yes” box on the “Do you like Catherinette?” note.