Supersize me, honey!
Cats: Ilona's Take|
Here’s a great party trick. Just the thing to give the young fellow heading off to college. After all, we want to encourage safe sex in our young men, yes? What a conversation piece. He could fill it with … well, whatever he likes, I guess. Probably not himself, ahem.
Okay for the boys. What could a girl do with a thing like this?
Use it as a larger-than-life condom dispenser! Store it discreetly in the bedside table, and — meh. If you’re the type to use this, you’ll probably want to just nail that sucker to the wall above the bed. “Pick a package, honey, any package.”
It could have its vengeful applications, too. Make yourself a smaller version, a realistically enlarged version — the cucumber as opposed to the baseball bat version — and let your ex see it. (How you manage that is completely up to you. We won’t go there, nor will we poke too deeply at the idea of why you’d want your ex to be aware of your sex life anyway… It’s not over till you don’t care, girls.)
BUT! No breakup is complete without at least a little fantasy, and this one offers the possibility of a great one, and totally geared at the male psyche. Women don’t like’em huge, we know that. But guys? Guys are all about size; can’t wrap their heads around the idea that women just aren’t. So, if you’ve had a bad breakup and want revenge, just picturing him convinced that he’s been replaced by a lad with more length to his lance is likely enough to get you through a bad moment or two.
This is Halloween month, too. There are probably a few Halloween-y uses for it, too. But I think we can leave those for the frat house…
