He was doing this on purpose, right?
Cats: because sex is pretty funny, the solution is in your hands|We’re all for creative sensuality here at Out from Under. No reason a girl should limit her play to the obvious. We’ve discussed the erotic potential of vegetables , some battery-operated faves, sing-along vibes, and even the classy Delft variety .
However, creative thinker though I am, it had honestly never occurred to me to look to my desk for inspiration. On the desk, sure. What teacher-cum-writer doesn’t harbour some happy bent-over-the-desk fantasies memories? Over and under, even. But in the desk? There just didn’t seem to be a whole lot of inspiration in file folders, a calculator, some scraps of paper, a couple of pencils and a pen or two.
Obviously, I was not paying the right kind of attention. I have had my eyes opened by Doug, the writer of this post , who, “In the past couple of years, [has] become far more intimate with [his] writing tools.”
They say that the best place to hide something is out in plain sight, but I confess to being a little disappointed with myself. I have a whole desk full of “writing tools”, and I’d never considered their “tool” potential, much less become intimate with any of them. Shame on me.
Turns out he’s talking about this, the “Cross Roadster Gel Pen”, available in black, blue, or red at your local Staples.
Now, Doug claims to be writing a straight review of the merits of the pen. Maybe Doug thinks he’s doing just that. Or maybe Doug is as subversive as one hopes he might be.
Just take a gander at this paragraph. His text is in bold; my comments in italics.
I found the Roadster at my local Staples and fell in love with it right away.
Claiming to love inanimate objects is pretty commonplace, so you can’t make undue hay with that, but hang in there. It gets better.
It’s a thick, fairly stubby pen just under 4.5″ long;
Four and a half inches may be a wee bit on the shortish side, but “thick, fairly stubby” should make up for a lot. Girth is good.
however, with its cap posted it turns into a meaty 5.75″.
Meaty. Yes, that’s the word he used. That’s what I look for in my peni… er, pens, for sure. Meaty. And 5.75″ should satisfy those with a taste for more meatiness.
Vaguely bullet-shaped,
Yes, yes they are, now that you mention it.
with a long brushed chrome cap
Well, length does increase with familiarity…
and a sturdy
sturdy is good
and beautifully-coloured barrel that’s well-rounded at its base,
mmmmm, mmmmm, mmmm
it certainly has a look all its own.
If this isn’t a hymn to the him, I don’t know what it is. “Hey, writer: Is that a pen in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”
Speaking of pockets, one of this pen’s supposed ‘cons’ is that it’s “a little bulgy in tight pockets”.
Need we say more?
