Gravity control?
Cats: Ilona's Take|“Gravity control is a matter of time.” That’s what their tag-line says, repeated with great confidence at the bottom of each page on the site. I’m not a scientist, so I can’t evaluate its content. As a writer I can say it reads like a grade-B informercial or high-end spam. I’m dubious.
But the idea of gravity control?
Speaking as a woman who is daily discovering the effects of gravity on her person?
BRING IT ON!
Imagine having your own little gravity-controlled field. Just a teeny one, personal to you. Just let the full implications of low personal gravity sink in for a second. I’m not thinking of leaping tall buildings or bounding up flights of stairs with effortless grace, though that would be all right, too. It’s even more personal than that!
Think skin. Think butts. Think breasts.
You could buy the pretty-and-cheap-but-flimsy bras instead of finding yourself faced with the sad choice of beautiful bosom stability or mundane financial stability. You can keep the girls in line for less, of course, but you pay in aesthetics. Those sturdy items are hoooomely. You want gorgeous support, support that pays due homage to the beauty of their contents? You pay. Through the nose. Or the nipple. Or something.
But with a gravity-control device, the girls would float all by their luscious selves. Just like they did when you were sixteen!
Wrinkes, flaccid arms, sagging butt — all things of the past without that damned gravity dragging you down. And if you are sixteen, and all those things are in your future yet? Don’t kid yourself, sweetie. Those things are in your future. All the good habits in the world can’t stop gravity. It’s a bitch. So maybe you might want to investigate the burgeoning field of gravity control — the next Big Step in the cosmetic industry!
