Out From Under

The difference in male-female sex drives is, along with the placement of the clitoris, one of the great cosmic sexual injustices. Two women and two men might have some drive dissonance from time to time, but the male-female thing puts that all in the shade.

Now, women often have solid grounds for complaint in the male approach to the event: they’re too abrupt, they divorce sexual touching from every other kind of interaction, they’re too fast, they don’t spend enough time on foreplay, affectionate play, non-sexual affection. They don’t do their share of the housework.

Very often these things are too sadly true.

But we all know that when you’re in the mood, you’re in the mood. And since when did “you never want to watch football with me and you forgot to park the car where I asked you to, AGAIN” ever turn into “I don’t want to have sex” for a man?

Exactly.

When you’re in the mood, everything is sexy. A certain song, the way your skirt moves across your thighs, a scent that brings you back to an erotic moment, the breeze lifting your hair from the back of your neck, the smoothness of yoghurt in your mouth — it’s all sexy. Even common household items can become charged with erotic significance.

Carrots, for one. And, apparently, toothbrushes:

Gives a whole new meaning to the term “oral sex”, doesn’t it? Keep those pictures in your mind as you brush your teeth before bed, and you might just surprise him. And yourself.

At the very least, you’ll be grinning.

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 24th, 2008 at 5:32 am and is filed under because sex is pretty funny. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.