Oh, those Dutch
Cats: the solution is in your hands|They are really comfy with their sexuality in The Netherlands, aren’t they? The relaxed sex laws, gay marriage as of 2001, their famed Red Light Districts, their excellent and open education of their young people, their concern for the health and safety of their sex workers.
Their souvenir dildos.
Aren’t they pretty?
Ceramic, with a cork base, and tastefully painted with a pastoral scene of fields, hay, cattle, and a surprisingly demure young woman, all inspired, so we are told, by a Johannes Vermeer painting, “Het Melkmeisje” — The Milkmaid.
Pretty, and tasteful, too. Not something normally associated with dildos. Functional, sure, but not something you generally pay any visual attention to — unless the visuals are silly or bizarre. But these! These are pretty, tasteful, and, good heavens, demure. (Ah, those Dutch! Who knew it were possible?)
They’re so lovely - and tasteful! - one is almost tempted to display it on the mantlepiece. Or in the china cabinet, particularly if one already has a few Delft pieces.
Almost.
Because it is, of course, delightfully crafted for activities more carnal than decorative. Made of ceramic, it would be so smooth. (The cork base — does it mean it’s hollow, to be filled with water, warm or cool as preference dictates?)
So, having put the thing to ripe and sweaty use, could one just wash it off and put it back on the mantle? Nah. Can’t quite see it.
Heck. You’ll just have to buy two.
