You’ve got to hand it to those boys (and girls) in the Apple empire, they are a think-outside-the-box lot. Nothing that they can’t tackle. No realm of human experience they don’t feel they can’t enrich with their deft and creative touch. In the words of neighbourhood teens, “Apple makes everything cool” — computers and laptops and music and phones … and vibrators.

Yup.

Vibrators.

(Wasn’t that a nice introductory paragraph? Just pulled you right into discussing this exotic new iPod accessory — ’scuse me, acsexsory — didn’t it? Too bad it’s not, as Kat kindly pointed out in the comments below, made by Apple. Nope. A third party. Oh, well.)

To continue …

White wand comes packaged in its feminine pink pouch (too bad for those of us who aren’t keen on pink), which you do not, all indications to the contrary HAVE to attach to a pink iPod. You don’t have to attach it to an iPod at all; it does work independently, but for the full effect…

ohmibod1.png

strap the unit to your thigh …

ohmibod2.png

and you can probably take it from there. Or let it take you. The buzz responds to the music, and “quickly transports you to a place where music, mind and body truly ‘come’ together.” (”Come” together? Get it? Ar, ar, ar.)

Liking the idea, but not sure where to start? There are playlists: tunes that Really Work.

I’ve always loved blues for sexy music, but for this gizmo, I’m wondering about classical. Picture the the effects of the huge range of volume, speeds, and intensity of the typical three-movement symphony. Beethoven would be good for this. My fave, the Emperor Concerto. Oh! Or Beethoven’s fifth (symphony). You know, the “Dah-dah-dah, DAH” one?

Mozart would ease you there gently, Vivaldi would buzz you into eternity.

But for really mind- (or clit-) blowing stuff, how about the 1812 Overture? You know, the one with actual cannon-fire?

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This entry was posted on Thursday, April 3rd, 2008 at 6:58 am and is filed under the solution is in your hands. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.