I flirt, therefore I have fun
Cats: Ilona's Take, because sex is pretty funny|There was a time when flirting was a social skill. A required one. If you wanted to be included in the dinner parties of your social set, the ability to flirt was a prerequisite.
These days, flirting is a bit suspect. Flirting is the province of single people. Married/partnered people, so goes the common wisdom, do NOT flirt. This belief seems to be particularly strong amongst the middle class. The middle class, which I inhabit. Perhaps I only think that because I inhabit it.
Which is a fucking shame, because I totally love to flirt.
Flirting has been maligned in our culture, I think. Too many people think that if you flirt, you are two-thirds the way to stripping off those panties and getting to it with your neighbour’s husband/partner/significant other. They assume the purpose of flirting is to intiate sex.
They are wrong.
The purpose of flirting is play. It is banter. Word-play. Fun. It is to establish your ability to attract, but the intent need not to be to consummate the attraction. You can, as a straight woman, flirt with a gay man. You can, if she’s not weirded out about it, flirt with another straight woman. You can also flirt with straight men or gay women, though you need to be clearer about the agenda and your purposes — but that’s far from impossible.
The married or partnered need not be excluded from the fun. Flirting does not make you a slut, a woman of no loyalty.
My best flirting, in fact, occurs at parties with my husband in attendance. Everyone knows I came with him; everyone knows I will leave with him. In between the coming and the going, we get to play the game of attraction.
You are attractive, I am attractive, your partner is a lucky woman, my partner is a lucky man. The banter is fun and suggestive.
Then we all go home and our partners get lucky.
Let’s hear it for flirting!
March 8th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
“You can, as a straight woman, flirt with a gay man.” And thank heavens for that! I never flirted much when I was younger, but I didn’t have gay friends then either - I’ve learned a lot from them on that subject, and many gay men are stellar flirts. It’s also clear that there’s no agenda other than fun.
May 14th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
“Flirting has been maligned in our culture, I think. Too many people think that if you flirt, you are two-thirds the way to stripping off those panties and getting to it with your neighbour’s husband/partner/significant other. They assume the purpose of flirting is to intiate sex.”
I always found that an interesting point. The truth of the matter is, flirting with others actually empassions (is that a word?) sex with my partner.
If I’m flirting (innocently of course) with someone I’m having fun and feel desirable, if someone is flirting with Hubby (again as long as it’s innocent), it makes him more fun and desirable.
Like you said, we arrive together and socialize with others and then go home and have great sex together.
Great Post.