Out From Under

So, you’re driving down the road with one of these on the passenger seat beside you, or worse, the whole rainbow cluster of them. Better hope you’re not in Alabama, Texas, Louisiana, Georgia, Mississippi, Indiana, Massachusetts, or Virginia … *

“No, officer, it’s not a vibrator. It’s my Banana Guard.”

“Yeah, right. I’ve heard that one before. Out of the car, please, ma’am.”

Vibrators illegal? Yes, indeed. Not guns, mind you. There’s a constitutional right to bear arms in this country, you know. But vibrators are a bad, bad thing. Because goodness knows, it’s better to be able to kill someone than let them have an orgasm…

Whatever happened to “there’s no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation”? Oh, right. Different nation.

Illegal? Illegal?? This means legislators in those states (and in S. Carolina and Tennessee, where such laws are being considered) believe that, somehow or other, sex toys are a threat to society.

“Well, yes, indeed, little lady. Think of all those innocent children have been killed by dildos!”

Now, now, Mr. Misogynist Legislator, you know better than that. Remember! “Dildos don’t kill people; people do.”
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*In some of these states, it is not illegal to own vibrators, but since selling them can bring the seller jail time (up to five years), you may be hard pressed to find one. In Texas, you are allowed to own them — but there’s a limit of five/person. One could argue that more than five each is just showing off, but if braggadocio were a criminal offense, most of our fearless leaders would be in jail.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 24th, 2007 at 1:38 pm and is filed under the solution is in your hands. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.