Getting to First Base

Typically, I don’t love when baseball players celebrate a home run before the ball leaves the yard. It seems so egotistical; often, it looks as if the player is saying “Hey everyone! Look at how great I am! Worship me!”

But Alexei Ramirez flinging his arms in the air in jubilation after he hit a no-doubt grand slam last night…I can’t have a problem with that.

Photo here, video here. Alexei Ramirez wasn’t showboating; he was releasing the sheer unfettered joy that baseball brings. In that moment, the 26-year-old rookie became a little boy who is PUMPED to be where he is. Even this White Sox hater was super-excited for him.

This home run forced a Game 163, which will decide whether the White Sox or the Twins will represent the American League Central in the MLB postseason. It will be televised tonight on TBS at 6:30. I’m pumped, even though neither of these teams is “my” team; last year showed how utterly thrilling a one-game play-in like this can be, and if tonight is half as theatrical as that Rockies-Padres play-in last year, it will be a great night.

Today is the last full day of Major League Baseball’s regular season. Most of the league’s divisional titles have been decided but there was still a lot of mystery in the AL Central. The Minnesota Twins started the day with a half-game lead over the Chicago White Sox, and needed a win over Kansas City to preserve that lead after news arrived in Minneapolis that Chicago had won.

The Royals, reverting back to their pathetic August form, obligingly scored no runs against Minnesota, which preserves the Twins’ lead for now. BUT the White Sox and the Tigers have to make up a game tomorrow from earlier in the season, so all Minnesota can do is wait and watch tomorrow to see if they’ll be part of the playoffs or watching from their homes.

As a Royals fan and an ardent White Sox hater, tomorrow’s game leaves me horribly conflicted. I have to root for the White Sox for one day, so they can push Detroit another half-game back from Kansas City, who is trying to finish in non-last. A Detroit win would send the much more likable Twins to the playoffs but would leave the Royals and Tigers tied for 4th, which would be pretty lame.

I’m not entirely sure what to do here. My hatred for the White Sox surpasses most other emotions that I know, but I have a deep desire to see the Royals’ improvement measured in the standings. I can’t fully win here!

In case you don’t follow baseball closely - and I really can’t fault you for that, because it takes a LOT of time every day - here’s who is in the playoffs and when that was decided.

AL East: It’s been mathematically certain for a while now that whoever didn’t win this divisional race would win the AL Wild Card, but the division title was finally bestowed on the Tampa Bay Rays last night, which means the defending champion Boston Red Sox are this year’s Wild Card entry in the postseason (just like they were when they won it all in 2004).

AL Central: As mentioned above, we don’t know yet. Either the Twins or the White Sox, depending on tomorrow’s makeup game between the White Sox and the Tigers, and a possible one-game playoff between the Sox and Twins on Tuesday.

AL West: The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (sigh) were the first MLB team to clinch a division title this year, getting it done on September 10.

NL East: The Phillies and Mets have been battling this one out for weeks now, but the Phillies finally wrapped up the East title last night. Before today, New York still had a shot at the NL Wild Card, but blew it by losing today. Take a moment and visit this site, which gives the only appropriate sound effect for the Mets’ repeat collapse.

NL Central: The Cubs clinched that division a week ago Saturday, placing them a step closer to their first World Series title in 100 years. The Cubs also played a pivotal role in the NL Wild Card decision today: Their loss to the Brewers meant that Milwuakee is the Wild Card winner and the Mets are toast.

NL West: Last week, the Dodgers punched their ticket to the postseason, without even doing anything. Their spot in the October scene was cemented when Arizona lost that day. I’m pretty happy that LA shortstop Angel Berroa gets to see some postseason action. He’s one of the most entertaining men in baseball today, and someone I have missed seeing (and being pranked by) after he was traded to LA.

I know… I think and write a lot about what it means to be a sports fan. Why be a Royals fan? Why keep rooting for any team? Why not just watch a sport and enjoy it all? I could do this all day.

Anyway,  I didn’t wake up this morning with the intention of writing about any of that. But then I read an anonymous comment on the brilliant blog of Rany Jazayerli, and I’m just…dumbstruck. I’ll ignore all the grammar for now, and just give you this nugget in all its glory:

OMG — too much obsessed about the Royals Doc. Root for the Rays, who are well past the Royals in terms of even worse stadium and small market baseball but who are much, more exciting that writing pages about mediocre players. I would love to have a fan of your obsessiveness talking Raysball.

It’s a uniform doc. It’s a uniform. ROOT for a concept. If KC was doing well I would root for them because they represent a need of winning that makes baseball a truly nation-wide league in place of a lots of big market, cable-network associated teams usually winning.

AHHHHHH, DUMB OVERLOAD! Let’s break this down, bit by bit (Fire Joe Morgan style). Anonymous’ stuff is in bold, my insanity is not.

OMG — too much obsessed about the Royals Doc.

Bah. If it’s OK for Fan A to be obsessed with one team, it should be OK for Fan B to be obsessed with another. That’s why we have different teams and not one, big, intrasquad scrimmage every day, right? Whatever.

Root for the Rays,

Don’t tell Rany what to do! He’s a grown man who can make his own rooting choices, thankyouverymuch.

who are well past the Royals in terms of even worse stadium and small market baseball but who are much, more exciting that writing pages about mediocre players.

True, the Rays are exciting this year. But Rany is a Royals fan; says so right in his blog’s profile. Yes, the Rays play in a stupid dome. Yes, they are a small market. Yes, Rany writes a LOT about mediocre players (the Royals). But why did “anonymous” even bother with the post in the first place? Rany’s writing is awesome, but it’s pretty numbers-heavy (he’s among the founding fathers of Baseball Prospectus, so…yeah. Numbers.) so it might scare away people who don’t care THAT much about the Royals. Not our brave little Anonymous. He soldiered right on through all those pages.

I would love to have a fan of your obsessiveness talking Raysball.

It’s hardly Rany’s fault that, inexplicably, nobody cares about the Rays, who are an exciting team about to play October baseball for the first time. If people don’t care yet, they might never care.

It’s a uniform doc. It’s a uniform.

I don’t like the condescending use of “doc” at all. Yes, Jazayerli is a doctor. But to repeatedly sling “doc” at him like that is just kind of jerk-esque. That’s beside the point completely though. It is NOT just a uniform. It’s a city, a tradition, old greats and new prospects. It’s developing irrational fan-love for little-known players and following them in good times and in bad. It’s being able to say “I suffered through those awful seasons” while you brush confetti out of your hair after you finally get to attend your team’s World Series parade.

ROOT for a concept. If KC was doing well I would root for them because they represent a need of winning that makes baseball a truly nation-wide league in place of a lots of big market, cable-network associated teams usually winning.

Go ahead and call it a concept if it makes you feel smarter, anonymous friend, but what you’ve described just now is called a BANDWAGON. And Royals fans, or any kind of respectable fans, only ever go near bandwagons to slash the tires.

You go ahead and root for your beloved concept; I (and Rany, and like 16 other people) will continue to root for, and write about, our TEAM.

I looooooooove going to sporting events. Just love it. If something hilarious happens, it’s more hilarious to me if I was there. If something historic or otherwise awesome happens like a brawl or a walkoff home run by one of my favorite players, it’s sad to not be there, even if the moment itself is completely awesome. And even absent of huge moments like those, games are just fun. I can make friends with a seat-neighbor just because we like the same random/obscure player, or talk trash (in a friendly way!) with opposing fans. I can get way more popcorn than I’m able to eat, then share it with total strangers. Celebrating victory is exponentially more powerful when my voice is one with thousands of other like-minded fans, rather than a nuisance to my next-door neighbors.

If I made a Top 10 list of favorite Royals moments, up to nine of them would be from games I actually attended. It’s not that I’ve been to THAT many games, but things are more memorable when I see them in the flesh.  (Side note: Have you ever read those annual Top 10 of Everything books? They are fascinating. When I was younger, I had this obsession with the Guinness Book of World Records every year, but I think I like these better. I’ll have to get both this year and see if the Top 10 books really are better, or if my memory is underrating the Guinness books.)

However, sometimes when I attend a sporting event, I feel less informed about sports than if I stay home and absent-mindedly watch games on TV. This is especially true for football; whenever I join the Sea of Red for a Nebraska football game, I am left with a lot of questions that would normally be answered by TV announcers and the magical power of replays.  If there’s an injury during a game I’m attending, I have no way of knowing what’s wrong, but if I see it on TV, a thousand gruesome replays are shown and then a sideline reporter is there with the scoop. And when I’m in the stands, I’m not fed screen after screen of statistical tidbits like I can see on TV, nor a constant scrolling bar of other scores from the world of sports.

I felt this a little bit yesterday when I went to Kansas City to see my Royals, and realized I had NO clue what was happening outside of Royals vs. White Sox. Yesterday was Saturday, which means college football. Usually I like to watch around 10 different games (plus whatever baseball I can take in) on Saturdays, so to be so far detached left me feeling lost, and like I would have a LOT to catch up on when I go back home.

I suppose missing all that football and other sports stories (like the Cubs clinching the NL Central) is part of the cost of making a sports road trip - just like gas, food, and sleep. It’s almost always worth it, especially when MY team wins.

I just got off the phone with a customer service representative from mlb.com who probably hates his job, and his life, right now. A friend texted me this morning to remind me that there are TWENTY Major League Baseball games today, because of a number of double-headers (including my Royals). I’ve written here before about how much I despise the site’s blackout policy, but I went against my better judgment today and bought a one-day subscription. I mean, twenty baseball games on the computer, with college football all day on the TV…that sounds like heaven to me.

I was pretty mad when I wrote the first post. But that was when I didn’t get to watch games as part of a free trial. Today, I paid to watch games that are not being televised. And I’ve never been angry enough to actually swear at the customer service rep; usually I think I’m mad, but by the time I get through to a person I’ve cooled down and I can’t bring myself to take out my ire on a person.

So here’s the situation today: It’s Saturday, so college football is king on TV. None of the 20 MLB games are on TV because of all the football. I guess that’s fine, but I’d really like to watch some baseball. HOWEVER, pretty much all the baseball games this afternoon are blacked out because the TV networks have the rights to televise them. But, you all are a smart bunch; I think you have already picked up on the fact that no TV networks are exercising their rights to broadcast baseball. It’s a football day.

So what the hell was the point of me paying anything to watch games that aren’t on?? I tried logic with this rep. I didn’t just ask what the blackout policy was; I already knew of their money-grubbing ways (born, no doubt, from being tucked so far in bed with TV networks that neither will ever come out from other the covers). I just wanted to know WHY.

Me: Yes, I understand that the TV networks have the rights to broadcast baseball games today. But none of them are exercising that right!

Rep: Yes.

Me: So…they get money from their advertisers for having those exclusive rights while they also make bank by showing football games instead. And you get money from mlb.tv subscribers, whether or not they can watch the games. Is there any way for the customers to win here?

Rep: …

Me: What the [beefy] is the point? Why did I buy a subscription for 20 [beefy] games I can’t even watch?

Rep: The policy says that — well you can listen to the games that are blacked out. There is no blackout policy for audio feeds.

Me: I already have an audio subscription. I don’t want to listen*; I WANT TO [beefy] WATCH.

Rep, showing that he’s never been a sports fan in his life: You can watch games 45 minutes after their conclusion.

Me: …

Rep: It’s not our policy; it’s the TV networks’.

Then the rep hit me with this gem:

Rep: Did you check the blackout policy for your ZIP code before you signed up? You should have checked that fir–

Me: So it’s either the TV networks’ fault or it’s MINE? And you are blameless. Really? Do you know ANYTHING about dealing with customers? I want my [beefy] money back.

Rep: I can’t do that, because you didn’t check the blackout policy.

Me: [beefy] [beefy] [beefy] [beefy]?!?!? You’re not helpful at all. Your greed-driven industry makes me want to [beefy] some [beefy] up. Have a nice [beefy] day.

[hangs up]

*I already have an audio account anyway. If I just wanted to listen, I would have done it with that account.

At one point I mentioned that someone I know got a blackout-free account because he was using his considerable media exposure to talk about what crap the blackout policy is. When I brought this up, the rep put me on hold (for the first and only time in the call, oddly enough), but then came back and denied to within an inch of his life that such an account can exist. (But I just confirmed it with the guy I know who has it - it definitely exists.)

Games that are being played right now:

KC @ CLE (double-header)

ATL @ NYM

DET @ CWS

MIN @ BAL

Games on that list I can watch on mlb.tv (the rest are blacked out due to TV restrictions)

MIN @ BAL

Games that are actually on TV

….none.

I’m not trying to dissuade anyone from subscribing to mlb.tv. I’m just saying…well, you don’t exactly get what’s promised to you. And if you’re not satisfied with your subscription purchase, it is your fault.